Welcome to London

After countless fears and countless tears, I am in London. It was very difficult in the weeks before coming here: most kids have been itching with excitement, but I was much more panicked and nervous. I spent every moment possible with my family and my boyfriend, Steve, before leaving, but I would never feel like it was enough time. We said our difficult goodbyes in the airport, and then I was off. Luckily, a girl Izabela in my program was on my flight, so we were able to stick together and became great friends immediately.

 The program coordinators tell us that we will hit certain stages during this process. First, we are going to be so amazed and excited and just think that everything about this place is wonderful. Then, we're essentially going to be horribly depressed and homesick. Finally, after getting over that, we'll come to terms with the situation for what it really is, recognize the differences and still feel homesick but be comfortable where we are. Well, so far I am not following that at all.

London is great, don't get me wrong, and I love all the friends I have made here already. We've been going out together for meals and drinks, and our program had a walking tour of central London yesterday where we finally got to see all the landmarks that made us feel like we were really here. I haven't really been moping at all: I've maybe teared up once since being here but haven't cried since the airport. I'm just feeling very indifferent to the experience. It's all been great, but it still feels like it's just a week vacation, not my semi-permanent living situation for the next 5 months. I like it enough, but I don't feel like I'm in love with the place. I may just still be feeling the strong tie to home, and starting my homesick phase early.

The reasons? I've thought about it, and I may have it figured out. Besides the obvious "I miss my family and my boyfriend" reasons, I'm also terrified of being lost. Terrified. London is SO difficult to navigate: most streets don't even seem to have street signs, and if you don't look the opposite way of what we are used to when crossing the street, you will be hit. Nobody stops for you. Ever. Not knowing my way around really makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I will never pick it up. Also, I'm the kind of person that if I had a choice between going out at night with people to some party spot or club, or staying at home in my pajamas and watching a Law and Order marathon with my mom, I'm going to choose the latter. That isn't an option here. All that there is to do right now is outside in the city, and while my room here is slightly depressing, at least I know my way around it.

I knew I would probably feel this way. It just worries me because nobody else in my program seems to feel the same way. Everybody is so excited and in awe of the place, loving every second. I like it, but I don't love it. At least not yet. My hope is that when I get more comfortable, I'll enjoy it much more. At least I've made great friends with people here, because that is definitely the best thing right now.

So now, I am off to my orientation at University of Westminster, where I will pick out my classes and other boring school stuff. The school is right by Oxford Street, the busiest shopping street in Europe... I guess I have no other choice but to just go shopping in-between classes!